Q: Why do happy events often leave me feeling sad and melancholy?
A: Even in the middle of joyful events, pangs of sadness often bubble to the surface, don't they?
The culprit is actually change. Change is a mixed bag. Sometimes we recognize change as bad -- job loss, death, divorce, illness. When bad change occurs we can easily understand and accept the feelings that occur as a normal part of grief and loss.
But why do we cry at weddings? Why do we feel sick when we drop off our "baby" at college? Why do we feel so forlorn when we've worked so hard for the retirement that's finally here?
The culprit is still change. Even when the change is long anticipated and presumed to be happy and normal, grief and loss occur. You see, good change still brings loss of some sort.
Think about it. The high school graduation of a senior son marks the end of childhood and all the blessings that children bring to a home. The lovely wedding confirms the attachment of a wife to a husband -- she's no longer daddy's little girl but one half of a loving couple. While retirement brings much needed time to explore new things, relationships and pride of accomplishment are often lost and it's hard to understand how the company seems to do just fine without your presence.
Grief and loss are a normal part of life that accompany the bad, but surprisingly also escort the good. We may resist the feelings that all kinds of change bring, but that doesn't keep them from surfacing.
One way to deal with change is to accept that there will be times of sadness. Stop trying to swim upstream and let the current move you along. Resistance zaps energy!
Next, talk to others who have been through it or who are especially compassionate listeners. That's what Christian brothers and sisters are for! Allow them to lighten your burden. (Galatians 6:2)
Also, it might help to recall what was comforting when you experienced other times of grief. Try those tried and true things again.
Mostly, though, depend on your Savior who never changes. What comfort this gives! In the middle of all the chaos and uncertainty in life, Jesus Christ is the same today as he was yesterday or last month or last year. And, he will be the same tomorrow, next month, next year and, thankfully, forevermore. (Hebrews 13:8) That's something we can depend on!
